Some Sort of Bootcamp

This must have been some sort of university thing because I was working on some sort of essay project while waiting in what seemed to be some sort of barracks alone. Something about this particular barrack wasn’t anything related to a military branch of that sort. More like something you’d expect for a summer camp kind of deal. I don’t remember what my essay was about, but all I know was that I was half assing it. I went to school to “become” an engineer, not an author. But you know how the education system is. Regardless. I was about to finish when this drill instructor guy comes in and starts yelling for my name.

”Times up (My name)!” “You’ve had your time to work your project but right now your due for your daily physical training.” Physical training huh. I have nothing against exercise. But what could I got myself involved in to warrant this kind of training? “You will be working with (another redacted name) today since you both are working as a team for the competition.” “Dismissed!” and he left.

SHE’S HERE TOO?!!! No way. My high school crush from back in my high school days. I haven’t seen or thought about her in a long while. Maybe perhaps August is usually back to school season and something has re-activated some memories about her. I honestly do miss her but I have to move on from her already. Why does she have to bother my dreams? JUST STOP IT! Please!

I get up from my bed and get dressed for my workout. I walk out the barracks and sure enough, she’s waiting for me right there. She looks exactly as I remember although she looks a lot hotter than before. She’s wearing a tank top and some gym shorts (typical of what she normally wore back in our marching band days. Her hair is short tied with a small pony tail behind her head. Aghhh she’s so cute! It hurts my soul or rather, what’s left of it. “I’m glad you are awake now (My name).” “We’ll do some stretches first before we start jogging.” “You’ve seem in better shape than I last saw you”. Can’t believe she’s actually talking to me like this. It’s almost like we are friends. Perhaps even more than friends. We both sit down and start doing some stretching. There was one point where we both were holding each other’s hands and had our feet together as we took turns stretching while sitting on the floor. Once we were done, she got up and told me “Oh yeah, that felt good. Now you better catch up with me!” So began our morning jog.

We ran around the university track field for a couple of laps. Sometimes I would outpace her but eventually she would catch up and get ahead whenever she would catch her breathe and strength. There’s just something so majestic about her running, I can’t help but admire her. It’s not the first time I’ve seen her run. In reality I’ve always seen her run in band camp since our band director forced us to run in the mornings. She seemed like the kind of person who cared about fitness. It would explain why she was so lean. There were some other details I want to talk about her that I noticed during this dream but it would kind of be NSFW and make me look like a perv (at least for this site anyways). Maybe on the other site. Suffice to say, I really do have strong feelings for her. I wish I didn’t.

Eventually, we finished our laps and collapsed at the starting line of the track. She had a bottle of water which she drank from and then poured on her face to cool off. I couldn’t help but laugh at her. She got a little mad but then threw some water on me too. “I don’t want you to faint like last time.” “It wouldn’t be fun if you weren’t around my little bud,”. The way she said that made me want to puke from the anxiety and love I had for her.

I then told her about the project I was working on for one of my classes. I wanted her to critique it and help me out to see if there’s anything I need improvement on. “Sure, I don’t mind one bit, although I don’t think anything would need any changes in your essay. You are pretty smart.” I reply: “That’s not true. I am just normal. I mean, I try but I am not a genius or anything.” She chuckles “Don’t be stupid. You are pretty bright kid.” I reply “Ugh...don’t call me a kid.” She laughs. “Alright, let’s go see your essay.”

The dream ends on a mundane note. Fuck. I hated it. Dreams like this make me feel regret and grief for the rest of the day if not the rest of the week. If there are external forces out there influencing my dreams or thoughts, it’d be nice if the subject of never confessing my love to her were to never come up again. I haven’t seen her in more than a decade at this point. There’s no chance in hell I’ll ever see her again. A lot could have in those 10 years. She might not even look the same or act the same as I remember her. I’m certainly not the same as I was back in high school. I may be a social mess but I’ve improved in someways that certainly could have helped me if I took those measures back in my high school years. If I could transfer my consciousness and memories and transport my soul back in time, you bet I would make some changes to my own history (like not going to college, and asking her out).