A Church on Campus

It’s kind of a rare occurrence that religious subjects occur in my dreams. Especially when they mix in with my feelings of anxiety when it comes to school, university, or desires for social connections. This dream brought it all into one strange but rather unexpected package that lasted quite a while for me to feel invested until I was awaken by a cold sweat (in part thanks to my room’s awful circulation and cooling). I do not know what to make of this dream’s message. The experience and overall message from this dream formed out of my weird and unorthodox inner thoughts does not help me find any answers or confirmation to my own life’s questions or issues. In any case, this is what I experienced in this dream.

It must had been the weekend because activity on these campus grounds is not that active. In fact, I might be the only one walking around this morning. This university kind of gives me similar vibes to the actual university I attended in reality but there are some buildings and facilities that are way off and thus, I don’t think I’d ever been to this university before. Something I don’t I ever mentioned is how I uncomfortable college campuses really make me feel. You got all of these multiple story dorms, and buildings where these classrooms are alongside these long paths and sometimes roads leading into these facilities. All this shit just to learn? Is it really necessary. At least in High School, it was usually just one major building (usually 1 or 2 stories tall at most) with a few smaller buildings for stuff like fine arts, cafeteria, or gym and that was it. They were never too far to walk to and everything felt like it had a connection to the school as a whole. It never felt like some dystopian city grid like how so many universities have been designed with areas you never really see in detail. It makes you feel like you’re a nobody in a sea of nobodies. You don’t recognize the students around you when you see them. Familiar faces aren’t a thing in Universities other than the roommates or classmates you end up stuck with in your two semesters. It’s no wonder these dreams involving school make me feel worse than I should be about them.

After wandering around this somewhat dead campus, I was able to find the school’s cathedral. I don’t think the term cathedral would be appropriate in this case though I wouldn’t know what else to call it besides a church. It’s not a huge structure compared to the rest of the other campus buildings. In fact, it’s fairly modest in size with a typical catholic structure with a a fake bell that so many of these churches have in small towns. However, this one is modern in the sense that the entrance of this church has a glass entrance where you can see the exterior of what appears to be a hallway with an center door that probably leads into the mass room. There are some people standing around inside too in this hallway. Without too much hesitation, I make my way into this hallway. Considering the glass exterior of this entrance hallway, the place is pretty well lit but something about this hallway seems kind of old school. I don’t know you are familiar with some old movie rental store carpet and walls. That’s kind of what this interior looks like with dark purples, orange accents, and blue walls. It’s not a good aesthetic for what should be a holy facility. Though it does remind me of a lot of the interiors I’ve been in as a child. Since not much is going on and it doesn’t seem like there’s going to be a mass at the moment. I sit on one of the benches and relax for a bit. That is until a girl walks up to me from this hallway.

Have I’ve seen this girl before? Perhaps in another dream maybe, though I don’t think I have. She’s not someone I recognize in my life nor in any of my other dreams. I’d kind of describe her as what 4chan would describe a typical tomboy girl. Messy, fluffy, and black hair, tanned or dark skin with a relatively short but fit build. Not overly muscular but her figure indicates she’s at least athletic to some extent. She’s not exactly wearing “Sunday’s best” either (neither am I to be fair). Just a casual t-shirt, shorts and sneakers. I’m not into the tomboy thing but she does seem kind of cute. I can’t imagine her approaching me is the worst thing I can experience.

”Could you come along with me for a sec.” She told me in a demanding tone. It wasn’t in a commanding way in which she told me that. It was more of a “Hey come check this out” kind of way if that makes sense. So I ended up going along with her as we walked into the other end of this church’s glass hallway. A group of other people (students) were waiting for us there. It was a couple of guys there of various appearances but nothing too out of the ordinary. Most of them look on par or better than I look physically though I wouldn’t call them uberchads or anything like that. They are just average dudes. She introduced me to a couple of them and frankly I don’t even remember their names other than I shook their hands as they greeted me. That is until she introduced me to the last guy in the group. A guy who looked kind of dorky and fat with a neckbeard. “And this is my boyfriend…” she said as she introduced me to this slob. I was completely and immediately not interested in speaking with these people and especially this girl now that I know she has a boyfriend. I felt slightly disappointed but I didn’t show it and kept my cool. In any case, I felt like I just wanted to leave the group and be off on my own again. That was until I saw something unusual right outside this church.

There was an orphan boy being pushed away from this church by what appears to be some kind of pastor. This kid kind of look liked he was left in the dump in terms of appearance but since he is an orphan, it’s not he didn’t have any luxuries or even any sense of having his basic needs met. The pastor in question was an old balding man. Probably in his 70s but he still had the strength to at least push this orphan or beggar away from this church before finally pushing him hard enough to fall to the floor. This kid did not get up. The pastor then walked away and returned back to the church and didn’t even exchange glances with our group before going into the big entrance where I figured the place where mass would be held. The others in my group didn’t even notice what I saw and it seemed kind of odd they would just ignore that in the first place. Something seemed off about this situation. I was about to ditch the group when my dream ended right as they were laughing about something though I was too distracted with what I saw to even know what they were joking about.

Not exactly what I would call a religious experience or anything that can be described as awakening to my mind or soul but rather it left me with more questions than answers. Just as much as any dream I had over these past couple of years that I have been marking down in these logs. Probably just a sign of how mentally unstable I feel about certain topics in my life I guess. Or perhaps it’s a reflection of what I think the world is like right now. Who knows at this point?