Familiar Face in My Dorm

She's back. I didn't want to see her again anymore but she keeps coming back to haunt my dreams. Not in a OOGA BOOGA jump scare kind of haunting but more of recurring and emotionally tormenting way. Nevertheless, I think this was a relaxing dream.

I woke up from the top of my bunk bed. The one I used to sleep in while I was living in a dorm in College. In fact, this place is exactly the place where I used to stay in at Uni. It's not a large room. Basically there's a bunk bed, a desk under that bunk, a closet, a sink, and bathroom was located elsewhere since they were public. The walls are white bricks with a very narrow window that looks out to nothing scenic. You'd be mistaken to think that this place was a prison cell and at times my dorm would sometimes feel like that since I never had guest come to my dorm. Today was different though.

A familiar voice alongside some other people can be heard bellow my bunk bed. I try to climb down the ladder to see who's under my bunk and someone grabs my leg. Soft warm hands. I peak down and I see her. My high school crush, wearing pajama shirt and shorts. Her hair is loose and messy and longer than I recall. Her face, as cute as she ever looked. There were some other people there too sitting around in the floor on a blanket. Some guy and another girl I don't really give a care to describe since they were strangers to me. "You're awake sleepyhead. We were waiting for you" she told me as she let go of my leg. I had to assume they all spend the night over in my tiny prison cell of a dorm. I don't recall ever doing that but I end up rolling with it and join them sitting on the floor. My crush sits right next to me.

We spent the next couple of minutes talking, or rather, they did most of the talking. I was to shy and didn't know what to say to try to join the conversation. I was about to feel real miserable about being left out when my crush took a hold of me and said "You're so quiet (name), we haven't seen you in a long while." She then asks me if she can hug me. I nodded and she leaned in and pressed her face next to mine as she wrapped herself around me. I can feel her checks, warm, smooth, and soft right next to me. It felt so real and so comforting. I wanted to kiss her since her check and lips were so close to my own but I am a complete and utter failure and coward to even try. Nevertheless, I was in this state of such extreme comfort I think I began to fall asleep with her hugging me. She did the same and we both leaned back against my desk as we fell asleep together while we were embracing with each other. The other two people in my group didn't mind us and continued their conversation without us. I can hear my dorm room open and other guy came in and asked how we were all doing but didn't pay any attention to my crush or myself sleeping under the bunk together. I say sleeping but I would occasionally open my eyes to see what was going on around my dorm. I can't say how long this went on but it felt long enough for me to actually think this was actually happening and I was finally at peace with the fact that someone really loves me that dearly.

At least, that was until I fell asleep in my dream and then woke up to reality in my bedroom (and pretty late in the morning compared to how early I usually wake up) and I finally that whole sequence was one big farce. I didn't have any thoughts about loneliness for the past couple of weeks if not months. That was until I had this dream. Suffice to say, I was bummed out that none of what I just experienced was real. The sense of touch I had when I was being hugged, that's not something I ever got to experience in this reality. To have that feeling that someone would be there for you, it's all alien to me outside of my dreams. It's depressing to think about. I hate it. I guess I really am a sad excuse of a human being.