Daily Blog 2026
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March 3, 2025: Family Drama, Dentist Appointment, Old Games are still fun
I don't like hanging out with family. Some of them are alright. Usually, I get a lot of flak from how much of a loser I am but this was not one of those times. My eldest cousin (she's a couple of years older than me) went into a deep depression after her newly wed husband left her and demanded a divorce. A little heads up, they are both older millenials (From the 80s) so they had better opportunties than I ever had to get an apartment, have a decent job, and so forth. As a 90s millenial, I'm lukeworm with my older kin. Some of them are cool but the others are some of the most consumerist quirky nu-male phenotypes and it just so happens my cousin and her former husband are those type of millenial. I'm not entirely sure what happened to cause this schism, but they LITERALLY just got married back in October of 2025! I don't know why couples can't just...oh I don't know, take it slow and try to get to the bottom of who they are dealing with before they get married. Think about all of that money just for the wedding which was held in the Bahamas because the poor family went all out, they made their vows, everything was happy happy joy joy only for it to just.......BOOOOOOM like an Iranian drone strike. I don't think my family is very good at maintaining relationships. All I know is that I'm relieved I don't have to deal with any of that drama as a perma-single guy. That post from Wizchan once again resonates with me. My life could always be worse.
I had a visit with my dentist recently, once all that family stuff was out of the way, and she was really...uh...facinated by me from what I can tell. She was curious why my hair looked so black and wondered if I dyed it. I told her I have naturally black hair because of my mother's genetics. My dad's side of the family are all brunettes with brown hair and light skin. She then told me how it was getting hot and I agreed with her. She's been wanting to cut her hair but she likes it long. I couldn't tell how long because she had it in a bun but I could imagine her looking cute with shorter hair. I do like her but I'm not the sort of guy who is going to flirt with a dentist trying to do her job. I didn't mind her pinching my cheek when I was all done. It sucks that my next cleaning is all the way in late September so I'm probably no going to talk to her in a while, but the good news is that my teeth are all healthy, clean, and my hygiene is on top. No more expensive procedures!
But of course, I've only done small talk with her. I doubt she would be interested in me if I started talking about old vidya because that's been on my mind lately. I'm loving my hacked PS3. I got a bunch of games I don't own that I have stored in my internal SSD drive. I've been playing Demon Souls which is difficult but the game is designed in such a way where it wants you to suceed if that makes sense. It's refreshing compared to most games I've played. I'm the kind of guy where I get fustrated and give up easily so I hate losing but this game is easing me into not thinking that way. I went into the game, knowing the reputation of how these souls games are and it's been a rewarding playthrough even with the mistakes I make. I'm curious to try out the Dark Souls games and other games like King's Field.
I also messed a little with Arma III because I was feeling like having another go with Arma III Stories. I had a team that was worse off than the previous one with sub-par and abysmal gear but somehow they were able to finish a mission (granted a simple one) without any loses. It was even more baffling that they did it during the night because only one guy had night vision, two others had flashlights, and the rest were poorly equipped for the night including the playable character I used for this mission. I want to write out the short story along with the included screenshots documenting the operation when I get a chance.
While I was with the family, I did play some other PS1 games with my cousin (the one closer to my age, not the one who just got divorced lmao) and played Cybersled which I think is one of my older CD games in my PSX library. It's an arcade style vehicle arena shooter where you can fight in third or first person in 1v1 matches. The 3D is really primative but it just makes it look pretty awesome in our opinion. He was also interested in my playstation copy of Road Rash because he's well aquainted with the Nintendo 64 one. My version of the game has these really "edgy" but goofy aaah live action cutscenes and it's the of those games where you want to lose just because the "You lose" cutscenes for this game are quite funny. You can find them on YouTube and see for yourself. The licensed soundtrack is really good too.
I played a little of bit of Battlefield 1942 today. The game is still active and I'm not so bad at it after all these years. Granted, you need a good team to get any enjoyment because if you're stuck in a team that's just sitting in spawn with snipers while the enemy caps all the capture points, you're going to get destroyed no matter how good you are. I don't usually like multiplayer games but I still have a heart for games like Battlefield 1942. There's also a server for the Road to Rome and Secret Weapons of WW2 expansions. The fucking jetpack you get in one of those maps is crazy. You can boost yourself up on the buildings and harass everyone with your pea-shooter MP40 like it's Starsiege Tribes. It would had been better if you can use a Bazooka like in the intro-cutscene for Secret Weapons of WW2.
February 17, 2026: Girls Und Panzer, Writing, Playstation 3, Frédéric Chopin in my JRPG?
I'm really loving the new spin off show of Girls Und Panzer. It's a lot of slice of life/fan service and it makes me love the characters even more so. I've read the manga series this show is based on it so I'm glad to see it animated at last. I'm hoping for a Ribbon Warrior adaptation, fingers crossed.
A while back, I was doing my own fanfiction based off Girls Und Panzer but I've got stuck and left in hiatus for a few years now. I'm doing my own original story now but I'm feeling unmotivated and stuck, I feel like I should start over but not completely. I think my writing style could use a lot of work but I do have some ideas for how I can alter and refresh the stuff I've already written back when I first started writing my original story. I'm debating if I should do it now because I'm thinking of fixing some errors and retcons in the story that I've overlooked or completely ignored apart from mentioning only once. I'm at the point of the story where I have to slow things down for the characters to develop and interact outside of the action scenes but I feel like I prefer writing these sorts of interactions more so than the battle scenes. I have to figure out if I should keep going or redo my part 3 plotline entirely because I'm finding it too overwhelming to keep writing this plot. I like the ideas I have right now, but I think I could flesh them out more if I make this section of my story it's own spin-off so it can get more love and care without getting in the way of the main storyline.
Valentines Day came and went, I didn't even think about it. Instead, I took the risk and got my PS3 Jailbroken so now I can rip my games to my hard drive and even import totally legal isos for games I've always wanted to play on the PS3. I like to consider this console the last good console I'd ever played. It's been downhill eversince. Even if I like the Nintendo Switch, it's a proto-steamdeck with a bunch of old ports and a few Nintendo exclusives (most of which were underwhelming if I had to be honest) at the end of the day. There were some glaring issues with the 7th gen like the BROWN, GREY, AND REALISITC graphics that everyone was doing but there were a lot of beautiful games from that era too. Even the gritty games were fun to play which is more than what I could say for current "AAA" releases. I used filezilla like a scrub to move some PS1 and PS3 isos into my Playstation 3 hard drive through a network connection. It's a little slow but it does work pretty well. I am considering upgrading to a 1tb HDD or SSD but storage prices are horrific right now. We're living in a Povertyfag Hall of Cost and I'm suffering from it.
So there's this game call Eternal Sonata that I was recommended and I got it on my PS3 since you can't really play this game on PC. It's on the 360 too but the PS3 is the extended version. It's kind of like Star Ocean but it takes place in the mind of the Polish composer Frédéric Chopin (I love his music) where he is dying from Tuberculosis and he is dreaming in anime. It's a very impressive and beautiful looking game with an amazing score. It also has a lot of historical trivia and goodies too if you're into music history. I'm enjoying it from what I played so far and I want to keep going until I finish it.
February 13, 2026: V-day, Taxes, Fucking Discord, Wizchan
It's Friday the 13th but I don't really care. I'm not superstitious about anything regarding curses. So far, it's just been another day. It's tomorrow that's really going to irk me.
Not only is it going to be 90F in February which means stepping outside is going to be pure misery but it's also the worst holiday of the year IMO. I've talked about this before in past blogs but it goes without saying how much I despise the 14th of Febuary. Even now as a jaded perma-single who has outgrown the need for companionship and my desires for some crush I had more than a decade ago, I don't want to go out and see couples around this time. So my plan is to stay shut in tomorrow and be lazy. It's not so much that I hate the idea of Valentine's Day. I think love is a real thing despite what some smug retards pretend to claim is JUST MUH CHEMICAL REACTIONS. But real love is a treasure that I believe is not easy to find if you don't have anything to offer. The commerical and social perssures of the holiday is the thing that really gets under my skin. I feel like the whole purpose of this holiday is to brag about how much you spent on stupid crap like chocolates or candies that make your teeth rot or overspending on dinner dates while shaming single people. But I digress. I feel like being single is more of the norm these days anyways. It'll warm my heart if an article comes out this year claiming how this year Valentine's Day sales are at an all time low.
Speaking of stupid crap, I filled my taxes and I'm getting a wopping $5! WOoooooo! Thanks Pedos. Wow. I'm sure am glad I'm getting something this year instead of owing money and getting nothing. Five dollars? Do I look like Angry Joe to you? As if $5 is going to convince me to look the other way in terms of how I view my country. Well...it sucks but I'll take it. That's enough to buy a few packets of tuna so I don't starve.
I saw something pretty exciting about a mod called Animal Crossing: Population Growing Deluxe. It takes one of my favorite games in the series, adds some of the quality of life features from the later games, and adds a few new features here and there. It looks really cool and I'd love to play it. There's just one...yeah just one little issue that's preventing someone like me from obtaining this mod...
THE MOD IS HELD HOSTAGE ON A FUCKING DISCORD SERVER! WHY!!?!!
Why do these modders do this!? I don't want to make an account on some awful social networking service just so I can download a mod (which is free btw). Imagine having to make a facebook so you can download roms. Why do they keep doing this? There are dozens upon dozens of methods for releasing mods. If you're worried about some Nintendumb copyright trolls, get creative with how you distribute it. I want to download a mod. I don't want to socialize with other people to get a mod. I don't care about being part of a bunch of communities on some bloated servers just to get some mod for my games. I had this issue with some Koikatsu tools I wanted to use to port some models into the game. Those are all behind a discord too. One that is at risk of being shutdown because of "muh adult content". Speaking of which, isn't discord now requiring you to reveal your goverment issue ID or basedboy selfie just to use the service? That's horrible. And knowing how all of these tech companies are not hiring their best, it's safe to assume that sensitive data is going to get leaked because "oWo woopies poopies we did a fuckie wuckie and lost all u data sowwwwyyy but that's just part and parcel of the modern internet get used it to." The devs behind discord talk like that I'd imagine so I'm probably not being exaggerating in that joke.
I saw a nice post on Wizchan in regards to a topic dealing with being the shamed loser child of the family. I used to get a lot of flak from my own parents and relatives about being a loser with no Uni degree, bottom tier or no jobs, and no wife. I become numb to those comments but they used to make me feel miserable and worthless whenever I'd hear it from any of them. This post by a wizanon stated something along the lines of "They will see you a failure compared to your relatives and peers, but those "normies" don't live perfect lives forever. A lot of them will have severe relationship issues, get into trouble with the law, or fall victim into vices and destructions of their own doing. Those same people who look down upon you will realize that compared to those who have really fallen off despite having everything and doing everything right in life will realize that you aren't as bad as society makes you out to be despite being a harmless loser." It does give me a little reassurance reading that post. I've been straight edge for my entire life and apart from a few addictions like fapping or YouTube, nonething of that sort has necessarily destroyed my life. I could have been a toxic relationship and have my life ruined but because I've been single for my entire life that's something I don't have to worry about. I don't have a lot of acquaintances but on the other hand, I don't have enemies either...unless you count my parents but I just act aloof with them. In all regards, I have it pretty easy even if I don't have the money, the loving relationships, or the self esteem to do "great" things in my life.
February 9, 2026: Parental Abuse, Expectations, Old Vidya
It's getting really hot again. I was doing so well and then I get this headache over the weekend because of the radical temperature change. Winter is over and I'm bummed about it.
Turns out 4chan was compromised weeks ago when it was comfirmed that Moot was in contact with Epstein. But so was reddit too. Honestly who isn't on the Epstein list at this point? It's tiresome. Imagine going to wageslave knowing your taxes are going to pedophile cannibals. Couldn't be me. I'm digusted by this country by the hour. But of course, unless people are starving, nothing will ever happen. People will just accept it and watch the Super Bowl and cry about it online to people who don't matter. This time we're really going to save the west by bitching about some pozzed football show. What happened to all those "influencers" who were going to save the west in 2016? LMAO. I still remember that copypasta meme with that horrible art of some e-celeb degenerates. I think it was something along the lines of "Sup fellow Alt-righters..."
You know at the end of the day, it's ultimately the parents, teachers, and entertainment industrial complex fault that so many kids got trafficed to billionaire sub-human parasites. Parents in particular get to much slack for abusing their own children. It's baffling to consider that whenever a kid does something horrible like a crime or a school shooting, the parents just throw their hands up with excuses like "Nah he was a good boy, smart boy, dindu nuffin, etc etc" while ignoring their child who was probably getting bullied in school or sneaking into the family gun vault. Somehow, these people don't get the blame for being lackluster parents. Then you got those parents who force their children into talent agencies. Instead of letting the kid just be a kid, hang out with the other neighborhood kids, play with toys, vidya, or whatever, the parents will push the kids into acting or music and you wonder how these talent angencies get away with so many abuses because "Muh kids are going to be rich and famous!" Dig Deeper had a really good blogpost titled: "Will the real oppressed group please stand up?" on Neocities and it explains a lot of my fustrations I have with the treatment of children by parents and society.
I'd go as far as to claim that media targeted to children is deliberatly dumbed down to hurt the children by insulting their intellegence and pushing harmful narratives through repatition. That was something I noticed even when I was a child. There were franchises like Bionicle that were targeted to kids but it never went out of it's way to insult their intelligence. It had a rich story, tons of lore, and a mature story without being too edgy or too cringe. A lot of anime and vidya at the time was like that too, even those targeted to my demographic back in the day.
The point is, you shouldn't underestimate younger people just because you are older. They aren't property or a sub-class of humans. They can be smart and aware too. But society thinks otherwise so they think it's okay for them to shove them into schools to learn stuff they don't want to learn, get medical procedures they aren't able to conscent too, or give them to a billionaire influencer because they promise they'll make your kid rich and famous. 90% of people shouldn't be parents. That sounds extreme but parents don't really stop and consider what it means to bring life to this hellish world. (You) work hard so that your kids don't have to suffer from the things (You) had to go through. If you're using your kids to get rich or show off to other retards how you're a "BASED family man" while you give your kid a tablet with YouTube kids on the loop to shut them up while you shout at Goyball on your "Smart" TV then (You) should do the world the favor and don't bother.
A lot of problems with society can be fixed by addressing bad parenting. Parents shouldn't be worshiped like gods just because they had a kid or two. Of course it's hard to raise a kid, they should had known that before they signed up for it. You have to give your kid the best life and opportunities you can possibly can so that they aren't getting trafficed by billionaires or becoming a loser in their 30s. The whole boomer meme of going through school, getting through college, and buying a house with a family of your own doesn't exist anymore. The good times are over so adapt accordingly I would say.
Couldn't be me. I can barely take care of myself. It's not like I could find a woman who actually likes me. That dentist seems to be fond of me but I can't say for certain. I'm too socially inept to read cues. She gently poked me in the cheek from the last appointment. Not during any operations but after I was up and going to reschedule my next cleaning which is a month from now when she was telling me goodbye. I have to remind myself that I was rejected by a 2/10 in the past. I'm not desirable to women and that's honestly fine by me. I accept it. Honestly you'd have to be a really particular woman to find a jobless, short, and socially inept loser like me appealing. That would be like winning the jackpot which is extremely unlikely. Imagine showing her everything I wrote and said on this webpage. That's the sort of tolerance and comittment I'm looking for which isn't likely IMO.
But the nice things of the modern world, they should be appreciated too. I feel like I have so much to do in my free time with all the backlog of games, anime, movies, books, and hobbies that I can do including blogging like I am now. Recently, I was FINALLY able to replay one of my favorite favorite favorite arcade lightgun games of all time (Beside Ghost Squad). Period. "The Ocean Hunter" is my childhood favorite and I was suprised to learn that it was a rare game in the US because I recall seeing them all over in local arcades and pizza joints. It's the one arcade game I was able to beat at the arcades and yesterday was the second time I've beaten the game. Mouse aiming is sometimes a lot easier than using the turrets that you use with cabinet but it'll never feel as cool IMO. The game is set in an alt history steampunk world where you have to hunt down Sea Monsters based on regional legends and mythologies that are terrorizing sailors. In the past, I've tried to run this game on MAME and failed miserably. Even when I was able to run it, I had graphical issues and stuttering. Now with the power of some guy's repack on the RGT Repository (See my recommend page) and GNU/Linux, I was able to run the game exactly how I remember it. I had to make a few changes to the config to fix the framerate (I remember it running at 30FPS since by default the game runs too fast at 60FPS) and with only minor stuttering with voice clips, the game runs amazing! I'm so happy to finally replay the game again. So much so, I beat it for the second time in my life and it was worth the wait and the trouble of getting it to work. Supposedly, you can play the game in one of the new Yakuza games that has some pirate dlc or something like that as a bonus but my rig is too poor to run such a game.
I also played Duke Nukem 64 Coop with my cousin. It's a port of the original Duke Nukem 3D but it has Turok like controls and some of the adult content is censored. I don't have a lot of experience with Duke Nukem 3D other than playing the shareware but Duke says a lot of movie one liners like "Blow it out your ass!" and my personal favorite when you walk up to an arcade machine featuring Duke "Hm...I don't have time to play with myself." The game is too easy with two players and this particular rom-hack can support up to four players. There's a deathmatch mode that has bots so that's cool too. But at the end of the day, I'd think you'd be better off playing it on PC. The vertical aiming sensitivity is too high to make accurate shots with the N64 analogue stick and there's no way to adjust it. Your field of view in split screen is pretty terrible too. The levels are really cramped and having such a low FOV doesn't help.
January 23, 2025: Broke, SEGA Saturn, Quake if it were Soviet, Winter Storm
I'm totally going to be close to being broke after my final dentist appointment. I hate it. I'd just wish they would pull off all of my teeth and just let me live the rest of my life drinking liquids just so I can save a couple of bucks. I'm demoralized but I'll sell my old consoles if it gets really bad financially. They are just sitting around taking up space and I don't have a PVM anymore to play them anymore nor do I have a TV with composite or S-video ports so I'm just having them sit around doing nothing. I don't have anyone who is going to inherit them. Maybe I'll see if my cousin is interested in a few games from my storage. I can't sell him everything since we kind of have similar collections but I have a few things he doesn't have. I did sell him my old Marantz VCR so I feel comfortable knowing it's in his possesion instead of some randumb. I sold stuff on ebay in the past but I don't have shipping boxes at the moment. I'd rather sell in person. I think I migh have my cousin help me out and sell my consoles through Facebook marketplace through his account because I refuse to make one. He knows more people than I do so it'll be better to find someone locally who's interested in buying my consoles. I'm not going to sell at "I KNOW WHAT I GOT" prices because I'm not trying to scalp or make any profits. I'm just trying to make some money because I cannot find a job and so far my applications have zero feedback. I might as well consider joining the military even though I'm physically kind of weak and possibly sick. I can emulate all of them except for the PS3.
Speaking of emulation, I've been playing some more Sega Saturn not just on my desktop but on my Thinkpad X230T because it works pretty well. There are some games that run kind of poorly like Fighters Megamix which I didn't bother playing because of poor preformance but Sega Rally Championship, Nights into Dreams, and a couple of other games are running really well even on the bellow poverty hardware I'm working with. Guardian Heroes is a very fun beat-em up with RPG stats for your character. You can jump between background layers to fight, dodge, or flank enemies and the music is fantastic. Rabbit is a more traditional Japanese 2D fighting game that was published by EA (Shocking!) but it's really good too. It has this Chinese theme with really cool music where you fight with a spirit animal that grants you certain abilities. Playing the arcade mode and defeating a combatant allows you to use their spirit animal so you're kicking everyone's ass until the final boss and you have a lot of abilities to work with. I still have a lot of games to check out on the Saturn. TBH, it's kind of lacking in the sports department other than racing which is shocking considering Sega tyically excels at sports games but it has NBA Jam Tournament Edition which is supposed to be more advance than the Genesis/Mega Drive version.
There's this really cool Quake mod called QBJ3 or Quake Brutalist Jam III which is a total conversion of Quake with new enemies, new weapons, and an entire aesthetic that takes inspiration from its' namesake so many of the levels look like Blade Runner 2049 or like some Soviet Nightmare Dystopia. The enemies in particular look really cool as they are a mix of medieval with industrial sci-fi weapons along with some quake-like monsters thrown into the mix. You have a collage of levels of different skill levels to choose from at any order with unique combat challenges. There's even a few joke levels in the mix. You can pirate a copy of Quake from /vr/, use Ironwall Source Port, download the mod and have a go at it or download the standalone which comes with librequake. I wasn't aware there was a "freedoom" equivalent to Quake but I did the former with my own Quake files.
I want to make a dedicated blog post about Shotshow 2026 (aka Gun e3 aka Gun CES lmao) but tbh there really wasn't much I was interested in other than some Keltec stuff. I haven't been keeping up with the new annoucements so I'll have to watch some recaps or some videos to see if there's anything I missed which I feel isn't going to be much to begin with.
A big winter storm is approaching but I'm not going to experience snow or temperatures any lower than 30F as far as I can see. Nevertheless, the state is freaking out because our infastructure is third world tier which is even more strained by all the people living here than it was since the last big freeze. I'm not expecting the power to go out on Sunday or Monday. I'm not scared of the cold. Power goes out, I'll just layer up and do something offline to keep me busy. I didn't get rid of my old Gameboy Pocket and Color yet. They run off batteries. I have my Banjolele to strum with and pratice because I'll never be good at playing stringed instruments. I got some playing cards to play something by myself. I think a BB gun would be good. I could go outside and shoot some aluminum cans with one when the power goes out. It's more practical than a real gun because shooting one won't get the cops called on you and you can hunt squirrels with it if you had to. I wanted a BB gun back when I was sick with covid. I should had bought one when I had the chance. The BBs are dirt cheap compared to what ammo prices are right now.
January 12, 2026: Root Canal
The numbness is gone and I don't feel that much pain. Feels more sore than anything. The operation wasn't too bad but the young girl assitant working with the dentist was attempting to have a conversation with me while I was numb from half of my mouth. I completely forgot how to talk to women but all I could say with a mumble was that I like listening to everything. She asking what kind of music I'd like but if you know me, I could go on and on about the types of music I DO like but couldn't at that moment. She also said I looked very different from the photo they had of me from the last time I went which was before the pandemic. I was chubby back then so I probably looked like I was on my way out (I'm not). The way she said it seemed like she was more concerned than impressed that I lost so much weight. I couldn't tell you if she was cute or not since she had the surgical mask, but we were both alone in the operation room for a while in an akward silence. It's not like I could be talkative tbf. I was numb in the mouth before the operation. The scariest part wasn't the drilling or any of that. It was when they were doing the xray and the girl was spilling spaghetti while trying to measure my tooth using a ruler tool in the gui with the dentist trying to guide her. Personally I would had just asked them to pull out my tooth because I'm an old man and don't care anymore about looking good but my mom didn't allow to negociate cheaply. I'm paying in parts so it won't hurt me but I gotta find some work or sell something real soon.
I'm eatin some rice right now now that I'm not numb. Nice soft white rice. Doesn't hurt to eat. I can't eat hard foods at the moment. Not that I like hard foods to begin with. It was pretty nice and cool today. I feel like I'm alive when it's nice and cool. I feel pretty good now. I think I got over my sickness too. That's nice I guess considering I was feeling kind of misserable in the weekend.
January 8, 2026: I can't believe it's 2016!
I guess January is a cursed month for me because I cannot avoid getting sick around this time. Although this is not the worst I've been sick, it was still pretty miserable yesterday. I threw up all afternoon and didn't eat until today which thankfully I managed to keep inside my stomach along with LOTS of water to rehydrate. Of course, I'm never prepared so I didn't have any sports drink to rehydrate me. I'm still somewhat burning with minor fever and a minor headache. I can still do some chores or minor tasks but nothing too physically demanding which sucks. I was bed ridden this entire day, watching some YouTube videos and listening to music. Not productive at all but there's nothing else I could had really done.
I just remembered Shot Show is around the corner. I'm bummed I haven't made it a yearly segment earlier because I felt like there was more optimism and intersting stuff to talk about in those years compared to now. Of course, just like E3, a lot of new products get "leaked" before the show and I'm going in expecting more of the same, nothing ground breaking, but I only keep up to see where the gun industry is now. Since we're in a republican controlled goverment, we have what's known as the Trump Slump where there's no panic buying because at the moment, there haven't been any calls to ban guns at the federal level (at least not yet) so prices for guns are actually almost at pre-2020 levels which is kind of nice if you don't have one already but ammo prices are still kind of shit, especially for imported ammo so I haven't been able to shoot in a loooong while.
Pietro Berreta is now offically a 500 year old company this year When it was a just a family runned forge in the 1500s making arquebus barrels which saw use by the Venetian fleet / Holy League in the Battle of Lepanto against the Ottoman Empire and has continued to be a family runned buisness all of these centuries later. It's crazy to think of a company being that old. A lot of American gun companies aren't even around anymore or are just in name only. They have to be doing something right to be around for that long. Their shotguns are incredibly expensive and almost cost as much as a car. I have a Beretta Model 81 and it's the one pistol I wished I had my first because it's so soft shooting and compact enough to conceal carry but I carry my Bersa Thunder 380, Ruger LCP, Taurus Spectrum, or Walther PPS M2 because I'd have that pistol a safe queen even if it has a few dings from the previous owner. Shame I can't get .32 ACP at the moment so I couldn't carry it even if I wanted to. I should buy the Model 84 if I ever get the money somehow. That one is chambered in .380 which is more easily obtainable and is better ballistically. I don't know if I like the new one that came out not too long ago but there's a surplus of older ones that are available online right now that are cheaper. I don't know much about their rifles but I know that the ARX160 looks like a fish. Kind of reminds me of the XM8 which I'm still upset about because the US never adopted it. Instead we live in this nightmare world of AR deriatives which I understand why it's like that but it's kind of boring when everyone and their mother has an AR-15 service rifle.
Oh and I'm not fixing that typo in the header. I know what year it is, but I still can't believe it's 2026 already. It doesn't feel like it. I don't even believe it's January because it's been so hot lately. So yeah, turns out I'm really going to need to have a root canal done pretty soon and it's going to cost an arm. Not a leg thankfully but still a pricey procedure. I know it's going to be awesome but I have to do it. It could get way worse if I don't take care of it asap. But at least I'm addressing it.
Ugh...tax season. They better not take any money away from me like last time.
January 4, 2026: I Hate January, Just start a Buisness Bro, AK Bubble.
It's not even cold. Why do I keep getting sick around this time of year. And even more so right around the time when I'm supposed to go to a dentist. That's really awesome. Obviously, I'm not dying or waking up in sweat or have any fever but the headache and fatigue is noticable enough to make me feel like a downer. My appetite is honestly more than it usually is which sucks because I can't do cardio to burn it off like I usually do. And then to top it off, I can play vidya in bed or use my laptop for the most part but I'm too stressed and fatigued to do something productive. I hate feeling like I wasted my time. I'm here laying in bed and thinking "I wish I could make a new music track, write a story, maybe even try making a little vidya game because I'm looking out for something new to break the monotony but alas, I cannot in this state. It's not so much that I feel like I'm dying because I'm not (I think). I'm not sick enough where I'm incapcitated but I'm sick enough where I don't want to do anything else other than to just lay down and watch videos, play some low intensity vidya and listen to music. Maybe this is the flu, or maybe it's a bad case of food poisoning. I kind of feel nauseated but it's not to the point where I feel like I might. I'm going to drink a lot of water so I can avoid that one time where I was feeling feverish and didn't hydrate the night before. Strange considering I thought it was allergies or congestion and I was feeling fine the night before.
I could had sworn I had something I wanted to talk about but my brain doesn't feel like working right now. I thought about an idea of making my own buisness while I was laying in bed. I don't have that entrepenuer mindset to be the kind of guy to run my own company or sell product. I feel the same way about learning to code. I had a brief conversation about the state of learning to code and wondered if was even worth it with all the layoffs, outsourcing and ai displacements. Obviously, everyone (initially) wanted to learn to code so they can work at the big tech companies and be set for life. I don't think that dream is viable anymore. I got a 3D printer and it would cool to do something like making car parts since a lot of engine parts these days are all plastic shit. I wouldn't be able to cheap out by using an EZ fillament like PLA since it's too brittle and heat intollerant to handle the sort of temps and abuse in an engine bay, but I think something like Carbon Fiber Nylon, PETG, and maybe TPU could work for things like air intakes, coolant housing covers, or little minor things that tend to break after one year of owning a modern car. I still have to learn to git gud at cad design and I'm not at the point where I can just imagine something and will it in 3D modeling. I'll admit, it's a lot easier than doing actual modeling in something like blender but you have to take into account that printing in different materials, you to take into account fit and thickness of the parts you're making. I have basic caliphers and even getting the right dimensions on freecad, printing the model would result in some offsets in the size because I'm using a .4mm nozzle or other factors like the material I'm using to print. I'm making my headache worse thinking about all this. From what I heard, a lot of 3D modeling jobs are outsourced too. That's just wonderful. I should really stop making excuses. The only way to overcome this dread is just do it for myself. Who gives about what "the market demands", I should just pratice making parts for my car that I need or make something cool in cad that I would be proud of. Anything to push my reliance on consuming although I would still be consuming filament rolls.
And the one thing that especially gets to me whenever I'm doing something creative and I may had said it before, but I never feel like my work is good enough. I suppose that can be a good thing because it means I'm improving (or so I think) my craft but I am always haunted by all of these ideas that I should had done or regret something I done whenever I make something. I'm extremely irritated by any little imperfections...well except for my spelling. I can never get that down no matter what I do Haha. I really need to not be so sloppy.
AHA! My brain is working all of a sudden. I actually wanted to talk about AKs recently because just like how trucks used to be vehicles for the working man, AKs (and SKS if you were really poor) used to be rifles that you buy if you were too poor to afford an AR15. Now AKs and other combloc rifles are seen as botique rifles where a "good" one will cost you over 1,000 USD, and the ammo is on par if not more expensive than 5.56/.223. Sure there's American and Polish companies that make AKs that are less than 1000 bucks but the quality on these rifles are dubious at best and I heard some recent horror stories about 5.56/5.45 American Made AKs blowing up and injuring the shooter so yeah....don't buy American AKs. I have a 7.62 PSA GF3 and though it's been fine so far from the years I owned it, I don't shoot it as much as I like anymore because the ammo is pricey anyways. Import AKs are now just a status symbol for larpers who think they are guerrilla fighters. Granted, unlike trucks, the expensive AKs are going to last you a long time unlike any truck made in the current decade but it just goes to show. I know I'm speaking in regards to current American gun culture becaues AKs are probably worth a goat and a chicken in some third world countries at war. Most people would rather have an AR-15 but I can't deny that the AK is cooler IMO and I find shooting AKs to be much more comfortable than an AR if you can believe that. Forgot to also mention that WASRS from Romania (or DEM MUDDA FUCKIN DRACOS IF YOU A REAL G) are somewhere in the middle where they won't blow up in your face but they may have a bad finish or canted sights but those aren't the end of the world. They probably won't cost you an arm or a leg (figuratively and literally) but you might get snobbed at by elitists. Not that it matters becaue shooting is expensive now and I haven't done it in a very long time.
There's this...well...kind of stupid trend in modern culture where the more "Blue collar" you look, the more manly you are when most of these guys with soy beards and blacked rifle coffee tattoos are some of the most Nu-Kratos people on the planet. They like to talk about being like their ancestors when in reality, a lot of the quote on quote hard working men of the past wore suits and were clean shaven despite the fact that they probably worked in a horrendous job like mining or working the field. I don't see the tactical advantage of having facial hair. It seems more like a luxury or a nusance like having really long hair. I used to have reasonably long hair but I had to cut it off because the maintence and fatigue it gave me was too much to deal with especially when it's hot. I dunno, I just thought it was funny. Most new trucks cost as much as a home morgage these days and they have all of these dumb luxury features like heated seats, a tablet interface, and other shit that breaks because it's all made in Mexico.
January 3, 2026: New Year
I had some pretty bad sinus headaches and fatigue this afternoon. Turned out it was the stupid candle in my room that I left on overnight. I took that out, aired out my room, and now I feel a lot better now. I was worried I was coming down with the flu again as is tradition around this time of year. I cannot afford to get sick right now. I have my dentist appointment right around the corner and I have to get my teeth fixed or I'm going to be in miserable pain. I've been extremely frugal with my money, just in case if I have to dump a large amount for an operation. Worst case is probably a root canal. I never had one but my cousin has one and he said it's nothing. I don't know if my tooth is dead. It sure doesn't look like it. But it's been years since I've gone to the dentist becaues I'm cheap. I'm honestly leaning towards them just pulling the bad tooth out because it won't cost me an arm and a leg and I don't care about my looks anymore. I've been passed my prime since my early 20s. It's only now that I started to notice my body decaying.
Last year was the year of the snake. Now it's the year of the horse....so..(does the Miles shrug)..neigh? I wish I could own a horse. I've rode one before that belonged to my relative's ranch. Mounting the horse was pretty difficult since I'm short and I needed some assitance to lift me up. But once I was on it, moving around in a horse feels very natural. I probably weigh nothing to the beast but I was able to make a trip down the road and then back to the ranch at a steady gallop. I'd rather have a horse than a car if I could. Back before all of these out of staters and Indians started moving in and making my hometown miserable and congested, it used to rurual enough to see some ranchers riding their horses on the side of the road. I think it was perfectly legal too as long as you weren't in the fast lanes. I'd imagine the droppings might be a problem but I've seen some horses with those bags for catching them on carriages so that there's no horse shit on the road.
I wasn't paying attention yesterday night but there was a major raid in Venezula where some US Delta Force (Cool games btw especially Blacked Hawk Down) captured Maduro and his wife. I suppose it's kind of cool that they accomplished it in 3 hours without any casualities or colateral damage but Venezula was never on my personal hit list. The whole drugs and immigrant crisis could easily be solved by closing the border but our politicians are too retarded to do that. If anything, Mexico is more of a threat to the US than some irrelavent South American Country that's not capable of maintaining its economy because it's close by and actually is a narco terrorist state. Sucks for them but it shouldn't be my problem. I'd rather see US special forces dropping a nuke on India or taking out Netanyahu in an Osama style raid. So now that Maduro is out...wat nou? Do we get cheaper oil? Uh...cool I guess but I think having less retards on the road would be better and even it out. Fun fact, a lot of food production is heavily reliant on pretrolium for things like fertilizers, peticides, and machinery that contaminates your food and makes you like marvel movies O ALGO. It won't happen in our lifetime but eventually when the oil supply dries up, there's going to be pretty awful food shortage as a result. Best case, this is going to be another Panama invansion where nothing really happens. The last thing this country needs is another forever war but this time in Latinx America. Just in time to brush up on my spanish although I'm not exactly learning from reputable sources. I've been watching meximutt slop memes with auto english captions and it's too funny for me to ignore.
I've been playing Wario Land 4. Both on my Anbernic SP and on my original Gameboy Advance SP. I know everyone is aware of all of the great Nintendo franchises like Mario, Zelda, Pikmin, etc etc but I feel like Wario games are slept on. Warioware on Gamecube, DS, GBA, and Wii are a ton of fun especially if you're into splitscreen gaming like I am. The Wario Land games are pretty good too and I think Wario Land 4 is my favorite out of all them. It was one of my first GBA games I got for Christmas back in 2001 alongside Lego Bionicle. I got the Purple GBA without the backlight which was eventually replaced with the GBA SP. I miss that purple GBA but the SP is cool in it's own right. I have the special edition NES and I liked how it folded like a laptop. The one thing that does suck about the SP is that it doesn't have a headphone jack. You had to buy a seperate dongle (sound familiar?) and I thought that was pretty stupid of Nintendo to do. The Anbernic thankfully has one but the buttons feel alot more clicker than I'd like, even with the gaskets I printed for the dpad and buttons. Otherwise, the game plays great on both systems but I'm farther ahead in my original cartridge than I am in the rom.
Oh yeah. Christmas. It was alright besides the tooth pain. I bought Bitwig Studios for myself. My cousin gave me a gift card which I used to buy a plain cotton black t-shirt that feels fresh. I got him a 1TB SSD because his drive is dying. I played Yume 2kki Online on New Years. The day before (Tuesday), I went on an expedition with a group to see some fireworks at the "Pollution District" and then again with some of the same people to another location with a beautiful view of the stars. My new years was quiet and I slept in right after midnight. It was nice and cozy.