Dreams from my Youth

This post was long overdue but it's something I wanted to blog about for sometime ever since I started posting dream logs. Typically, I'll post a dreamlog (assuming I don't forget to post about them and/or forget about them entirely which is something that happens when I'm not proactive in writing them down). There are dreams however that are so memorable that I can recall them as if they were memories, no different from my own experiences in my past. These are dreams that go as far back as before I was capable of speaking (which was 5 years old since I was a mute up until that age but that's a story for another time). So without further stagnation, here's some dreams I fondly remember from my past before I started blog posting.

A Birthday Party

One of my earliest dreams that I can recall was back when I was just a toddler. I must have been three years old so I wasn't a kid yet but I had memories of that age. I was a bit of an oddity back then because I was awfully quiet for a three year old. My parents were pleased by that since I wasn't wailing my mouth out like "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" like a lot of toddlers tend to do if they don't get their spiderman action figure at the local HEB. I swear, crying kids are the worst. My parents should be thanking me for being docile instead of berating me but I digress. The quietness would not be a problem until later on because it would be a hindrance for me to ask for stuff. I'd point at something, maybe make a noise but could not speak a single word even though I could understand adults and kids my age. I don't know what was wrong with me. I did have to go to counseling to get that fixed when it should have been my lazy parents who should have put in the effort to help me speak instead of being lazy and talking to relatives like they matter more. People on the internet these days think parents are lazy now? Back then, they'd sit you in front of a TV, give you a magazine about trains, or eventually get you a Gameboy so you wouldn't bother them or socialize with other kids they didn't want you talking to. Despite all that, life was not terrible as a three year old. I did a lot of fun things as a three year old. My family even took me on a trip all the way to Arizona and I have found memories of it including one that was captured on photo where I had my picture taken with a conductor next to a large steam train in Flagstaff, Arizona. I was obsessed with trains back then and I had all kinds of train toys and VHS tapes of documentaries about trains and so forth. Probably a sign I was on the spectrum but I never got diagnosed. Of course, you didn't have to go that far to have a good time. You had a bunch of local amusement parks back then and the rides there were not bad for a three year old. Even the little roller coasters were cool. So it's no surprise that one of my earliest dreams was about one of these theme parks.

In this dream, I remember that I didn't see my parents or any of my relatives that I knew of. I was by myself in this theme park which had all of these carnival style rides, tents, built upon some dirt pavement. Kind of like a country fair mixed with a circus with colorful tents, small form rides, and clowns. I don't know how anyone could be scared of clowns because I wasn't as a kid. I just see them as entertainers. But the one thing that got my attention in this dream was this guy who was wearing some kind of jumpsuit and helmet at one of these tents. He had what appeared to be a jetpack strapped onto him. I looked at him and he was laughing. Not in a maniac kind of way. He was jolly in a Santa Claus like way. Just laughing like AHAHAAHAHAHAHA before he took off with a jetpack into the sky and disappeared. That's the extent of what I remember in my dream and it's the one thing that stuck out to me the most from that dream.

The White Modern Mansion

The other dream I could fondly remember was a few years later. At this point, I was probably 5 years old because I was able to speak at that age even if it took me longer than most other kids. I'm not sure what the trigger for this dream could have been other than perhaps seeing a house that looked like a "new age" white square mansion with these tall glass windows that made it look like a bathroom house. I must have been curious what the inside of such a strange house would be like and this dream sort of answered my question.

In this dream, I was exploring this massive "modern" mansion and just as it was glass and white from the outside, the interior was too. The rooms and halls were claustrophobic and narrow. I felt like I was in a maze going through this house, up and down these spiral narrow stairs and opening rooms with nothing in them. It was just white and sterile rooms and halls. No signs of decorations or furniture. It was very bright inside too because the sunlight from the massive stained glass windows illuminated everything inside without any need for lights. Not really happened in this dream. It kind of felt like B3133 or some kind of liminal space before that was a thing. The dream wasn't scary or anything like that. It was kind of fascinating.

The Giant Boulder

Jumping ahead in the timeline but I know for a fact this one was a pretty weird nightmare. Not as scary as some of my later dreams but it's one I remember. I had to be in 4th grade when I had this dream. There's not much to describe in this dream but I was outside of my house and out of nowhere, there's this giant brown stone boulder that shouldn't be in a place like this since I live in a rural plains area. This boulder starts to chase me around and I'm running all over the place. The neighbors are present in this dream but they aren't being chased like I am. I eventually found a two story building to ascend to. It's a fairly crappy wooden house but I take shelter there. This boulder starts to slam against the building and I'm trying to keep my composure while this boulder tries to flatten this house. It's not as tall as this two story shed but it's large enough to shake the foundations and potentially destroy it. I woke up from this dream and felt a little unsettled but it's not like I was screaming or anything like that. If that's what I considered scary at the time, I was probably really sheltered as a kid.

Swallowing a Keychain Loop

This dream occurred at the same age as the one I mentioned before. While this dream wasn't very eventful, it's the fact that this dream felt so real to me that I started freaking out after waking up. I don't know what I was thinking in this dream but I was laying down in my bed and looking at this keychain ring. It's a small circular thing where you would attach your car keys too. Nothing special. So what does my dumbass do in this dream? I drop it in my mouth and swallow it. I don't even feel anything until I get this tight feeling in my throat and it feels like it's stuck in my wind pipe. When I woke up from this dream, I was in a bit of a panic because I thought I actually swallowed a keychain ring and was freaking out to my parents that I was going to die and this was before I had to leave for school. I was so scared and unsure of myself, my parents had to take me to a doctor to get examined to show that I didn't swallow anything. If it weren't for my overreaction, I probably would have forgotten this dream.

Cuddling With A Girl

Ah...my first wet dream lmao. I'm going to talk about this one because it was around the time I was going through puberty in 6th grade. If you're a guy, you probably have a good idea what a "wet dream" is but this one was the one that kicked it off. The crazy thing is, it wasn't even that explicit of a dream. I was in this fancy house, kind of similar to that white modern house in my dream years ago except this time, I'm in a room with this girl who was pretty cute. She must have been a few years older than me because the way she would talk to me was like I was a younger sibling or something like that. She's not a relative so you can relax. She was sitting with me on the floor and held her arms around my stomach while we sat. She would press her lips against my cheek and kiss me and nuzzle against my head. I can recall how excited my heart was feeling while this was occurring. I felt comfortable, loved, and protected. But there was also this sense of well...I was feeling horny too. Like I wanted to be affectionate with this girl I was hanging out with, but nothing came out of it...well except when I woke up and I was feeling embarrassed. I thought I pissed myself while I was sleeping and I freaked out about it but not openly. I was not one to have these sorts of accidents. Not even in Elementary so whenever I was having one of these dreams, the moment I wake up, I would try to rush to the bathroom when I knew something was up but I was never able to make it. The one day that I did make it to the toilet, I was in horror at what I saw...well you know. I thought I was sick with something. I didn't want to tell my parents because I thought something was wrong with my bladder. But eventually I figured out what was going on and I got it under control. It's silly I was not aware of what my body was going through at the time. Nobody told me. I must have really wanted a girlfriend because at that age, I would listen to my CD player and daydream about having one. If only I knew in hindsight how naive I was about love because I never got to experience that form of romance...ever.

The Death of My Grandfather

The worst one saved for last because I had this dream while I was in Uni and it was prophetic in some way because the morning after, I got a call from my dad that my grandfather had passed away. I had to miss out on a week of class so I could get home immediately and attend my grandfather's funeral. I did see him before I started the semester and he wasn't doing all that well. He was seeing spiders on the walls and having all kinds of pain and hallucinations. Dying is a pretty scary thing and it's not something I'm looking forward to even though it's inevitable that we're all going to die one way or another. I just wouldn't want to die a slow death. The dream I had while I was in Uni took place back home. It was late and night and there was a cop in the house, doing an investigation. There was a barricade set up at one of the rooms and a pool of blood was spewing blood from under the door. The police officer approached me and told me my grandfather was murdered. It felt like a heavy boulder had crushed my body when I heard that from the officer. But I eventually woke up and thought nothing of it until my Dad called me telling me of his passing. He apparently passed away the night before. At the same time I was having this dream.

No, my grandfather was not murdered. He was dying of old age complications and organ failure. He didn't die alone as he had some relatives looking after him and they aren't the sort of people I'd associate as murders. I was just glad I got to see him one last time before I started college. I suppose I should have expected it since I knew he was dying but a part of me wanted to believe he would be okay for a few more months if not years. This is why I can never be a doctor or work in the medical field. Just thinking about the body failing or decaying and having to work with injuries and death is not my thing. He was one of the first of my grandparents to pass away and several years later in the present, all of my grandparents have passed away. That generation is completely gone now. It's depressing to think about. Now I have to worry about my own parents and then...assuming nothing happens to me, it'll eventually be my turn.

Those were some of my memorable dreams in my life that I had prior to starting my dream logs. It's pretty interesting seeing how my dreams have progressed as I got older. Maybe not always for the better, but I'll take a good dream any day of the week.

Return to Catalog