Uni Stories

A Time When I Acted Like "The Whale"

My time in college was a lot of things but fun and rewarding wasn’t one of them. If anything, college was probably the darkest moment of my life in terms of feeling depressed, hopeless, lonely, and worst of all, developing some really really bad habits. Especially during my first semester of Junior year, which would end up being my last year of college before I dropped out due to financial aid and academic problems. I was doing...okay for a novice Electrical Engineering major up to that point though I wouldn’t say I was an all A student. I was usually on the “barely” passing edge when it came to my classes and my GPA was somewhere between 2.4 – 2.7 which is….okay but my scholarship required at least a 3.0 GPA or better (which isn’t impossible for easy majors but for engineering it’s quite a challenge to maintain.). I had a GPA around the required range for the first two semesters but by my sophomore year, the difficulty spike went up to the point where I along with everyone else would struggle. Getting my GPA down the 2’s was unheard of for me because I graduated high school with a 3.8 GPA and basically everyone was sucking my dick to go to their college. Of course, I wasn’t Ivy League material nor did I have the CONNECTIONS...Connections…..connections to go to one so I went somewhere out of town but not out of state. In any case, my struggles led to a lot of degradation in myself both mentally and physically. Especially when it came to my weight.

I was never one to really like exercise up until fairly recently a few years ago. For most of my life, I was a shut in gamer who never liked doing things outdoors. Even when I was a kid and I was forced to play in various sport teams by my parents, I was never the most athletic or to be blunt, I never cared. When it came to baseball matches, I would be out there on the field looking at hills or drawing on the dirt with sticks when I was supposed to be catching the ball and tagging people running on bases. I was a terrible and lazy baseball player who could never hit nor did I ever care to make any hits with a bat. Same thing for soccer and tag football. I was more curious about the bugs and stuff on the ground more than I was playing sports with a bunch of kids that I didn’t like. Sure I got a lot of “exercise” from marching band and I did remain skinny throughout my school life in part because I would always skip lunch and band camp made me do hours upon hours of outdoor activity in addition to nonstop vomiting from heat allergies and heat exhaustion. In college, the only physical activity I ever did was ride my bike to class...when I had one. My campus did I have a gym but my social anxiety prevent me from even stepping foot inside of it in part because I was terrorized of dude bros who were stronger than me were going to make fun of me for being short and weak.

It especially didn’t help that my campus food options were limited. I only had a 5 day pass for the cafeteria and once the weekend kicked in, I couldn’t eat at the cafeteria anymore. There was a Starbucks on campus but I hate Starbucks and Coffee so I never went there. There was a Subway too but it was trash food and I would usually get a turkey sandwich that got old eating every weekend. Something you don’t realize is that if you eat something routinely enough, you will eventually get very very tired of eating the same foods over and over. So I did the one thing college retards do when they are hungry. I order pizza. Lots and lots of pizza. If you know anything about pizza is that it’s extremely fattening and I would order a large (and sometimes another one if there was a 2 for 1 deal.) Because of the lack of food in my own dorm, I would sometimes buy more pizza to save for later. Big mistake. The result of buying so much pizza resulted in me going through a single box in one day...sometimes two if I “felt” really hungry. So it’s no surprise that I started to gain weight fairly quickly. I ate not only because I was hungry, but I was depressed about struggling in my classes, being friendless, and my own insecurities with my appearance even before gaining weight. So my weekends were usually spent ordering pizzas, getting soda from vending machines, and jacking off in my dorm. Soon that routine spilled over to weekdays when I was supposed to be studying and doing homework. Because I was so lost in my classroom, I figured I was going to fail anyways and just ended up slacking off really hard for the remainder of my semester. I had to jump up a clothing size from small to medium as my old clothes were getting too tight on me and they started to feel very uncomfortable. I found myself getting tired just from walking from and to my classrooms which certainly didn’t help with getting my ass back on track when it came to academics.

I was decaying at such a rate, by the time I dropped out, I was obese, dirty, I had a bald spot on my head from the stress of uni, I was a porn and masturbation addict, and I felt like shit all the time. I started to have dreadful thoughts as I tried to cope with flunking out of college but my vices and gluttony only persisted as I was in my NEET stage of life. The record weight I had was around 170lbs (for someone that is 5’4” which is absolutely horrible). I was a whale but shorter. But thankfully, things have changed. Especially around 2016 when I started to pull myself together in a lot of ways.

A couple of years (before I even started making my Neocities website), I started doing cardio. At first I was only able to do like 10 minutes of cardio before I felt like passing out but now I am capable of doing an hour a day in addition to some strength training (which is something I am still trying to work out now that I lost all the weight I wanted to lose). I am now 115 lbs at least and 120lbs at most which isn’t too bad. I’m not super skinny but I am not fat anymore either. My face doesn’t look bloated anymore and for once, I look young for my age. Whenever relatives see me, they are always shocked to see me skinnier than they remember me being. It’s a bit of a nice ego boost compared to how I felt when I was overweight. Granted, I am a manlet so losing weight and gaining weight is probably easier for someone of my stature. Basically, I had to do cardio on a daily basis (in addition to skipping meals when I feel like I can do that) and I was able to lose weight to a respectable level within a few months. I still keep up with my cardio to ensure I don’t gain weight and I keep myself active. Plus going out to range whenever I have the funds for ammo is in itself a physically demanding hobby so that probably helps too. Basically, life had started to turn around once I left my “whale” phase but there’s still a lot of work in other areas of my life I have to work on till this day before I can become truly happy for once in my life.

So if you are feeling depressed and you're overweight, I can personal vouche and say that getting back into a healthy weight will do you wonders. Sure it will be difficult at first but if you just do it, you'll soon get a routine going and you'll be good in no time. If a loser like I can do it, most people shouldn't have any excuses to start getting fit. Also stay away from pizza.