Adverts of the Year 2025

It was that time of year again. Geoff Keighley hosting yet another Ga...well actually Adverts of the Year 2025. I previously did one back in 2024 and was not impressed. I didn't even bother for 2023 because I fell asleep while I was watching it. So how did this one fair?

The title of this blog is not satire. The awards means nothing in this show. What really matters are the adverts for games that are in the works or are supposedly coming out real soon. I'm going ot be honest with you. 98% of the games annouced are cinematic slop trailers that don't even bother showing gameplay.Not only that but they don't even look interesting. You know how your typical trailer has that BRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHMMM Hans Zimmer Inception sound. If it has that, it goes right into the trash. Does it have that DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN Drum build up, it goes straight into the trash. IF there's a literally who narrating the cinematic trailer, it goes straight into the trash. Now I'm starting to sound like a Death Grips song so let me get to the point.

If I were not poor, I would ironically host a contest where I'll shuffle all of these trailers from this show in random order, no sounds, no title reveals, just the cinematic cutscenes they make to try to convince someone like me to pre-order their game that I haven't seen gameplay for. If I wasn't poor, if someone could correctly identify these trailers accurately wihtout looking them up or cheating, then I would reward that person all of my savings. Someone should do that who does have money to throw away. Just trying to prove a point that most of these games will probably never see the light of day because they are so uninspired.

There were a few noteworthy trailers that I personally found interesting. There's a new Star Wars Racing Game in the works. Kind of a spiritual sucessor to the Pod Racing Games on the N64, Dreamcast, and PS2. I loved Episode 1 Racer. It was kind like Wipeout but with Pod Racers. This new one seems to be set in the Sequal trilogy so.....eeuuuuugh. I have really bad Star Wars fatigue at the moment. Give me a decade or 15 years to get over and I might reconsider.

There's a Street Fighter 2 movie in the works and it looks....incredible and awful. Like 90s vidya adaptation awful. That's not necessarily a bad thing. I didn't recognize any of the cast members so that's a plus. But it looks like a stupid fun movie I could get behind. Here's the trailer:

Now I want to talk about the show itself. Miss Piggy was kind of annoying. They should bring back Statler and Waldorf from last time. They were hilarious.

Speaking of Kojima. Man...what a loss. He gets invited every year by his lover Keighly and despite making all of these connections with B-tier Hollywood directors and celebrities, he is unable to nepo his way into getting any awards. Other than some nominations, he didn't get a single trophy this year. Todd Howard was there too. He didn't win shit but he annouced one of the awards (Best Story Telling or something like that?). I kept forgetting that Todd Howard is a real short king. But he probably makes more money than everyone who made fun of him for being the chess club. Who's laughing now?

There's a remake of some Tomb Raider games in UE5. Supposedly targeted to gamers because the trailer kept zooming in on her ass and cleveage.

A new Mega Man game for whatever that is worth.

I always thought about doing my own Game of the Year on this blogsite but I just realized that I don't really play new games and it would be incredibly pointless because I'm basically playing or replaying the same games I played years ago or decades ago.

Did I ever play any of these GOTY games now that I think about? Off the top of my memory from the last shows, I didn't play Astrobot, Bear Sex 3, Slop of Us 2, God of my Wife's Son: Varg Edition, The Lord of the Elden Ring It Takes Two. Yeah, I have no plans to play any of them and therefore, I have no plans to play Baugette Fantasy: E33. Honestly, the only reason that game won is because it's the only game that probably isn't a scam like the rest of the AAA games that came out this year, but that's not saying much. Honestly, I don't even get how it won "Indie" Game of the Year when it got funded a million dollars or something crazy like that.

NGL, it's been a really rough year to be a Nintoddler. I had to cope by replaying Super Metroid and Metroid Prime Triology because Mid-troid Prime 4: Beyond turned to be beyond a disappointment. At least we got Miles out of it.

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