Summer of NO Games 2026
I’m going to keep this brief because there really wasn’t anything that excited me this year. How could I be? I don’t own any of the “next-gen” consoles. I’m not playing any of these new titles. Not even on PC. With that said, it was slightly better than last year, although I wouldn’t say it was any good. At best, it was okay. At worst, it was a complete derivative slopfest with triple AAA and even indie devs not getting the fucking memo that nobody likes these games. More on that in a bit.
Sony’s Presentation
Who fucking cares? Sony is dead. A new God of Nu-Male but this time you play as Kratos’ wife. It’s another over the shoulder, third person action game that has more cutscenes than actual gameplay. The typical Sony experience these days. Honestly, anyone who’s still a fan of modern Sony games deserves this. I think they deserve even more. I want to see Nu-Kratos emasculated and humiliated even more. It would make these Sony movie games more interesting if they went all the way. It would be hilarious to watch these nu-God of War fans do all these mental gymnastics to defend these shitty narrative games that actively insult their player base. But I’m not expecting anything exciting another than some boring cineslop that you can watch on YouTube and get the same experience as someone who dropped EIGHTY dollars on a movie! It’ll probably be boring, safe-boring woke, and derivative as most recent Sony games. Why keep up with this Viking setting anyways? That was a trend in the late 2010s because a bunch of games like Asscreed wanted to get into the hype that Skyrim created when that came out. Now viking culture memes are regulated to posts Twitter with captions like “RETVRN TO TRADITION” by users who are actually Indians larping as conservative right wingers in America.
A new Wolverine game? Why do people pretend they still give a shit about capeshit? Capeshit should be fucking over already. That shit kicked off while I was still in high school and they are still milking the normie cattle with these capeshit super anhero garbage. Oooooh but there’s gore and it’s brutal and adult and….nah it’s lame.
I suppose the only interesting announcement is a new Ace Combat game. I’ve played all the PS1 games but have yet to get into the PS2 ones which are apparently the very best in the series. The art hoe pilot girl in the trailer was really cute and certainly my type but it’s not enough to justify spending God knows how much a PS5 is these days.
Summer of Games Presentation
This was the main event. It was okay. A lot of announcements for stuff we already knew about. I called it summer of tomboys in a blog post because there was this attempt to entice gamers with them. I mean, I suppose it’s better than nothing. I’m typing this long after I watched the stream and to be honest, I can’t remember a damn thing about what was shown. There’s a new Stellar Blade with said Tomboy protag if that’s your thing. I heard this series was overrated and people only like it because they can use it as a political statement to piss off no-life leftist retards on Twitter. The games just look like Bayonetta to me. What do you call that genre? 3D hack and slash ala Devil May Cry, Old God of War, Metal Gear Rising? I vaguely remember a trailer for some Chinese Souls slop game with some horrendously good English dub that reminds me this:
The presentation has a bunch of other stuff I could care less about but some people were happy about it I suppose so good for them. That Steampunk game with that quirky Reddit millennial humor was extremely irritating and I can’t believe I overlooked it because it was so bad. There were a couple of uninteresting indie games including a co-op streamer slop game where you have to carry an egg. Don't these devs realise these games are pointless. Most online gamers don't have friends to play with. I'm sure some streamer might but that's the most exposure a game like that would ever get. Exposure doesn't equal sales you know. The last “big” reveal was the Final Fantasy 7 remake part 3 or whatever it’s called. It made me sigh and drop the stream. Overall, it was okay, not super offensive but not exciting either.
Xbone Presentation
I don’t know why everyone is saying this one was good. It was just remakes after remakes. The new anniversary Xbox Series whatever the fuck it’s called looks cool in that translucent green. Very 2000s like but it’s probably super expensive and not worth it. All of these new remakes look like ass. Especially the Halo Combat Evolved one. People are cumming themselves over quirky quips, three new missions made by the idiots from 343 and are all hyped up for a game that came out in 2001 that they can still play. It’s also going to be on PlayStation 5. So much for being an exclusive. The new Gears of War doesn’t impress me either. That shit should had died off with 3 as with most games. Why can’t these devs come up with a new IP instead of rehashing and remaking these games and franchises. The zoomers or whoever that were sucking their mom’s breast milk while I was gaming with these series in Uni are now adults playing the same fucking game with barely any changes. How is this industry still alive? Why are they so many golem cattle gamers who eat up this shit? You know what, why do I still care? If this is the future gaymers want, so be it. Let them be treated like animals and milked like one by these devs if this is all it takes to make them clap and give up their money.
Nintendo Direct
This one really disappointed me. I mean, I guess I called it beforehand considering the drought of Nintendo announcements since the release of the Switch 2. It’s one of the most expensive consoles Nintendo has ever released but at the end of the day, it’s Switch 1 with slightly better hardware. I’m not saying it’s a bad console but in terms of finding a reason to justify buying one, I can’t name one. The stuff that was announced for this direct were games that were coming out for the Switch 1 alongside the Switch 2 (mostly old third party ports). The new Wii Sports thing looks kind of neat ngl. I have a soft spot for Wii Sports. It’s cool that this one let’s you use Miis. Thinking hard about the other stuff, some of it was okay but a lot of it was not interesting to me.
The new Ocarina of Time Remake, Remaster, Reimagine, Nintendo what the fuck are you doing?
I’m not pleased by this. It confirms my worst fears about Nintendo. They are indeed in their Disney remake arc and it’s not going to end up well for them. Maybe in the short term, people will eat up these remakes thinking they are the greatest thing ever despite some of the changes which I am betting they are going to make which will ruin everything that was fine with the originals. That Star Fox 64 ultra hyper realistic remake was a warning sign. Fun fact, that remake wasn’t even made by Nintendo but was outsourced to another studio. Just like how many remakes these days are outsourced too. The original developers of these games (with the exception of the head produces like Shiggy) are all gone and even old guards like Shiggy are becoming old and delusional. Shigeru Miyamoto is doing all this stuff like Theme Parks, Movies, and Disneying all out but leaving the gaming sector out to dry. All that extra stuff is doing wonders for profits and image when it comes to normie cattle mass appeal but it’s abandoning the core values of what made Nintendo successful in the gaming space. I’m very skeptical about the remake for OOT. The music sounds pretty good based off that short teaser trailer but that’s not enough to make me soyjak face. When was the last time I’ve soyjaked face? Did I ever soyjak face naturally? Am I capable of it? Now that I think about it. No. Not even during my happiest moments of my life. Am I defective?
But enough about me. Back to remakes. These people in that video...look at THEM. They are excited for a video game that can still be played TODAY. I’d imagine buying the original cartridge and hardware would be expensive but the 3DS remake does exist. Better yet, emulators exist. N64 emulation is better than it ever has been. You can even be a scrub and emulate on your smartphone. Better yet, the recompiled builds also exist so you can some N64 games natively on you PC. These recomps let you play the game as the developers intended or you can throw in some enhancements and make your own “remake” with texture packs, mods, and even modern controls. There’s honestly no excuse as to why you would have to wait for the remake when playing OOT or Majora’s Mask is super accessible. Certainly not a reason to spend $500+ dollars for a Switch 2. Even if they go the whole Resident Evil remake route and redo everything from scratch. What’s the point? It’s the same game. Same plot. Same themes. It would honestly surprise me if this remake was actually being done in-house by Nintendo unlike Star Fox. It really would. To me, it really does seem like Nintendo really hired that man. Congrats, teenagers from 2010. You got your wish decades later. I guess copy pasting assets in Unreal Engine really is a skill in high demand. Just wait until they remake Super Mario 64, Majora’s Mask, and Pikmin 1. I’m calling it.
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